i am gonig to try to write in this thing as consistently as i can. more for me than anything, but i know some of you who know about this are curious about the change going on in me, so for you guys too.

the only really AMAZING aspect of yale is the christian body. yeah, there are the super smart super talented students that blow my mind, but i've seen that before, you know? cty, scitech, avery dennison, whatever....that kind of genius is nothing new to me. but wow, the christians here. they are a constant reminder to me of what i might one day be, a constant reminder to keep searching and keep struggling. especially at a time when it would be so great to throw in the towel, it is so encouraging just to observe. it is true, that you see christ clearest in his servants, the present examples of his selfless unexplainable love. and having said that, i am starting to appreciate this school. who knows where i would be right now if i went to Cal. even here, there are temptations to revert back to old ways, and it is so hard to fight 'em. and even though i dont have the discerning spirit to understand the bible in the manner i think god intended his people to understand it, there are a few passages that hit straight to home. here is one:


"no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11


perseverance builds hope. and yeah, i bitch all the time because i am running on empty. but is there any other way to build perseverance? who the hell perseveres if he isn'tstretched beyond his limitations? sometimes, i am surprised at how stupid i can be. humility :] i am learning new things every day.