i just had a very perfect day. read on if you're bored. or, just skip to below.

in the morning, i was debating whether or not i should go to church. i didnt want to deal with stairs and slopes with crutches, but i ended up going with my brother. it was good to see some faces i havent seen in a while. and i liked pastor monica's sermon (to my surprise) and the bible study was real good too. but more on that later...so after church, my mom and i went to go eat some bomb chachang myun in glendale, and then went to the galleria to shop for backpacks. you know those rare days when everything goes perfectly? i had a great conversation during a great lunch, and afterwards, we found great parking-the closest possible to the great luggage store that grace told me about, where a super great employee helped us pick out a great backpack. then we went to the coffee store nearby to have a smoothie and relax a bit. it was so nice. i love spending time with my mom....anyway, after a quick nap, my mom, bro and i went to ichiban for some sushi! again, great conversations during a great dinner. afterwards, we went next door to eat ice cream at penguins. then, we dropped my bro home and i went to trader joe's with my mom. if there is one thing i'll miss when i go to college, it will be going to the supermarket with my mom. we always take atleast an hour, just strolling up every single isle realll slow. sometimes i'll pick osmething out, and she'll disapprove ("mikyung ah, look at how much sugar it has. no, you can eat yogurt instead...") or she'll suggest something off the wall, and i'll disapprove ("mom, i'm not eating that. even brian - our human food eating machine - will not eat that"). certain things on the wall will remind me of something i had to tell my mom, which makes our pace even slower. we always end up with a full cart by the end, as we did tonight. and after that, we went next door to blockbuster to rent a couple of movies. when we got home (everything is within 2 minutes of my house. a great benefit of living in la canada) i searched online for a hotel for us to stay in when i move to yale. i was so worried about this for the last few days, because i thought they were all occupied. but alaS!!! i found a nice hotel for really cheap all within 15 minutes! my day was just getting better and better. so afterwards, my mom and i popped in "the shawshank redemption" and we watched as i folded the laundry. my bro came and joined us like 10 min. into the movie. so there i was, folding fresh laundry that smelled so nice while watching one of my favorite movies with two of my favorite people. oh! and i ate grapes that i bought from tj's earlier today. the movie just ended a few minutes ago. we all loved the movie, even though i've seen it countless times. it makes you feel so tingly inside. morgan freeman and tim robbins wake the tear-inducing nerves in my body to the point where i feel like crying. but i didnt. instead, i decided to blog. too much weird shit in my head.

:: the good stuff ::

there are moments in your life that you want to take a photo of, so that you could remember it forever. a PENSIEVE (read harry potter 4) for all those cluttered thoughts stuck in the head. well, instead, i have my blog. the bible study today was about the distinction between sinless/sinful anger. it made me think about all the times i've been angry for selfish reasons. my anger from some injustice usually sprung from a selfish desire. urgh....it's wuss how i only bitch and get angry about such "injustices" when they are harmful to me, and yet i'm silent during the same type of injustice when its unfairness is beneficial to me. i hate that. i remember when i used to argue that god was an unjust, unfair god. THANK GOD he is. thank god that he takes away the fair consequences that i should have had for all the shit i've done in my life. for every single sin i've committed...goodness, where would i be right now if god was a just and fair god. i remember someone telling me long ago what would later become a very worn-out shpeel..."jesus christ died for your sins..you should be thankful..." even though i dont have THAT figured out, i am thankful. there are certain types of gratitude that just overwhelm you. the type that break you down, that breaks down your hardened heart and prideful mentality and makes you feel soo humble and regretful and just awful....the type that reminds you how goddamn lucky you really are. the kind that makes you want to do something magnificant with your life. i possess that gratitude towards him right now. i feel so undeserving. it's the kind of burning humiliation and shame and that "i'm sucha stupid fucking idiot" feeling you'd feel if you crashed your car right smack into someone's living room, and it's the kind of gratitude you'd feel if the houseowner came out and gave you his car so that you could drive back home. that's what i feel right now. i think i will remember this moment the next time some other reckless driver accidently knocks over my mailbox. at that time, i hope i dont have that anger, that urge to go out, reprimand the foolish driver and, in my anger, make him pay for the small damages, and pat myself on the back because justice was served. what bullshit. i hope that i will think back to the day when i felt like the worst person in the world, and i was treated like the best.