the last three days in france were the best times in awhile. i went to italy with two of my friends and between the three of us, we ate eleven scoops of italian gelato ice cream. oh my god...i havent tasted anything that good in a long ass time. then every one of the three nights, my friends took me out and took care of drinks and club cover and of course, ice cream (not as good as the italian stuff, but still really reallly good) and yeah, i had a bomb time. i got home three hours before my flight tired and sleep deprived and alas, my trip had to come to an end. so now i'm back. and already, i'm bombarded with all the shit that i left behind several weeks ago. i havent even had time to catch up on my sleep, which i really need right now.

i wish i could get myself in order. i clean my room constantly, trying to avoid what really needs to be cleaned up. and goodness...whenever i start reminiscing (sp?) about the past several years, i get so sad and nostalgic of all those times that comprised my high school days. especially stuff that happened at church, i think those moments defined me more than any other. i dont know where i'd be if it werent for all those talks, lunches, sundays, retreats, teachers and pastors and friends... all the late nights i spent thinking thoughts that were way beyond me. because of this, i am now at a place where i never imagined myself to be. good or bad, i dunno. i never imagined, though. it kinda scares me. i still have so much bottled up. when am i going to find the outlet that i need?


wouldnt it be nice if life could resemble "Tetris," where, if you played well, you could have everything fall into place as they should, and everything would be orderly, neat, compartmentalized....?

:: sigh ::


there's nothing so heavy weighing down the soul as the weight of nothing worth my strength to hold...