i dont have any good words to write...my head is blank, as it has been for the past several days. i feel like an idiot, like the answer to this madness lies just in front of me, and i cant see it. i cant see it for the life of me. it's like knowing that the words in front of you hold the truth, but it's written in a different language. and you wanna fucking shoot yourself. i cant tell you how frustrating it is..to know it's right there. it's right there. so i dont know...i dont know what i'm doing anymore. i'm just treading on, on this road that has room only for my feet. this journey is so difficult to go on alone...